My Grandma’s Death

So my grandma died. It was unexpected. We were estranged.

A miniscule issue was blown out of proportion.

The MIL-DIL duo who were like mother & daughter were not in talking terms. The rest of the family (dad’s siblings) instead of helping the grand old lady let go of the seeming ‘disobedience’ (yes, you read that correctly) of the DIL of 32 years, started pouring more fuel to the already angry and ego bruised grandma of mine. My dad did not react the way my grandma wanted him too. He (a 59 year old) told his mom not to exaggerate. An ungrateful son who blindly supports his wife. My grandma was a like a loose cannon.

Hurting words were thrown and curses were freely hurled at my family. We were asked to leave the family house. We were the outcasts now. The house we called our own for 30 odd years. The one we lived as a family with our grandparents. The one my parents took care off. The one where the whole family gathers for New Year, Deepavali, birthdays and the likes.

My dad was soon to retire in  a couple of months. My wedding was just around the corner. After dad’s retirement and my wedding, it was just in time that the renovation of my father’s investment property completed. My family moved.

Another sibling of my dad, gladly moved in to our house the family home. To be with my grandma. Within a few months, my grandma, under the pretext of visiting her youngest daughter, started staying for months altogether over there. She barely came back to the family home, unless it was absolutely necessary.

Meanwhile, Facebook was ripe with pictures and posts showing Mother’s day celebration pictures with my grandma and other siblings of my dad. Glowing tributes and the love they had for my grandma was explicitly mentioned. Relatives of us were tagged so that the message would come to us. By now, my mom & dad were the ungrateful children of the family and deserved no kind and love from the rest of the family. We were no longer part of the family.

A lot of other things transpired between the siblings. Making the already widened gap even bigger.  By now, my dad didn’t want to have anything to do with them either. Slowly but surely, my grandma was loosing money. She was ‘giving’ money to her children ‘in need’. Then, her house was put on sale. Again, to help her ‘needy’ children. These needy children in their fifties who are professionals/businessmen with grown up children of their own.

10 years happened by then. It was now March 2017. Dad received a call saying grandma was serious. She cried seeing my dad & mom. Her eyes are speaking with them. So much of love. So much of regret. Two days later she passed on.

 

 

 

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From no resolutions to a long list of resolutions

For the longest time, I did not have any resolutions for the new year.

I had a lot of time for self reflection last year as I was working from home. The plus point of working from home is that you are physically away from the dramas and unnecessary office politics. This gyan of course comes as an after thought. The daily travels and the time spent on secondary activities needed to be done before actually heading to work in fact takes much time collectively.

As I no longer need to spend the n amount of time in the mornings, I pretty much had loads of time in my hand. And in the beginning, I was lost. I didn’t know how to occupy the leftover time after completing the household chores. Also a tad lazy.  The TV & my hand phone were my companions.

I started making mental notes. To improve my well being. Change the negatives in me to positives. To make the already perfect me super duper perfect. And the list started growing. Longer and longer. And there came the slap on my face. A wake up call.

I could have done all these things and yet I did not. Why? Short of kicking myself, I started applying the notes to my daily live. I was determined to make these into habits.

And habits these became.

Come the new year, my schedule changed back to normal working hours and I will be heading to the office instead of working from home. This meant the earlier cultivated habits needs to be undone.

So afresh I started.

That’s how I know have a long list of ‘resolutions’ for myself this year.

 

Minimalism

I have embraced minimalism. Without me being aware, I was kind of into this way of life in some aspect (read: tiny) of my own life. I got excited knowing that a lot of the activities that were highlighted actually made sense and resonated to me personally.

I started declutterring with a vengeance.  It felt liberating to remove the unwanted stuff. The ones I thought I needed. The ones I held on to for later use. I started with my office & traditional clothing. For a person who doesn’t own much clothes and doesn’t fancy shopping for clothes, I gave away 5 L sized bags of clothing. And I have more to give away.

Gradually, the declutterring moved on to my family’s clothes, accessories, household items like the tiered food steamer, second brand new rice cooker, plates, second blender, gifts, mementos, CDs, toys, shoes, accessories. Trimmed my Facebook friends, deleted files and emails in the laptop, deleted the other blog and merged another two. Memberships were cancelled and unwanted membership cards were removed from my wallet. No more additional umbrella in the car. Books, I tried. So far, I gave away about 6 books only. For a bookworm, that’s a great start.

I started working from the office again. I cleared my desk and locker of many things. This despite having the one of the clearest and cleanest desk and locker in the office much to the envy of my other colleagues.

The best, I guess, is me logging out of Facebook.

I feel I have more time in my hands, lesser things to worry about. Lesser burden. Lesser things in my hand and mind to worry about. And definitely more physical space around me.

Facebook

I did not realize the amount of time Facebook was occupying my days. Mind you, I do not share much of my personal stuff (at least nowadays compared to before).  I mostly share women  or life centric articles if there were any or manage the family group and share the occasional hellos with friends.

What I do always, is scroll. I am the habitual ‘scroller’. The one who aimlessly scrolls and stalks people. The ‘for a while’ Facebook checking could last for an hour & a half.  And I also shoo away my kids when they dare interrupt me during such ‘for a while’ sessions. I was sleeping late, just because I wanted to check Facebook, yup, ‘for a while’ before I hit the sack. I am one helluva stalker, by the way.

Come this year, 2018, I decided to limit my Facebook time to once week. Which of course, as expected was a major failure.  Then out of the blue, sometime last weekend, I told myself I was going to log out from my Facebook account. With that, I am off Facebook since this Monday. I reached out to my phone and clicked on the app 8 times in a span of 6 hours on the first day.

It may be only day 3 today, but you know what, I am beginning to feel the differences already.

Sabbatical for almost a year!

A lot of things happened last year.

  • Back to back business travel
  • The passing of my grandma and the subsequent dramas
  • Bigg Boss
  • working from home
  • MIL being MIL
  • first ever family vacation in years with the whole clan
  • jogging
  • learning baratham again after a gap of 21 years
  • growing my hair long, like real long
  • wanting to own gold jewelry
  • embracing minimalism
  • not reading enough
  • abandoning my blogs

I hope to write full fledged posts on these eventually.

Super Singer Junior Season 5

The former super singers who were judges for Top 40 & 30 were bias with some of contestants. The way they promoted some kids to the Top 40 & top 30 were astonishing. The deserving ones were deprived of their 6th star just to accommodate some younger ones who are in the show to showcase their cuteness. *eyes rolling*

Having seen the former super singers performing before, most of them do not even have half of the charisma and talent of the children they placed on waiting list. It’s really shameful to see such full blown bias.

This was pretty much prevalent when we have the unbiased SPB family giving frank comments and eliminating those chosen by the former super singers.

And yes Shubaji, thanks for giving a chance for a boy marked for elimination another chance while depriving other children their rightful place to the top 25. That too after his atrocious singing.

Deepak! Deepak! Deepak!

I can’t get this boy out of my mind! So much of talent at such a young age. Almost every day I am watching his YouTube videos.

Here are a couple of his performances in the Super Singer Junior 5 to date:


Guess what! Someone reviewed this boy’s performance and commented that he stands apart from the rest! The facebook page can be viewed here.

deepak

I am sending you all the positive vibes, Deepak Karthikeyan!
Can’t wait to see you, boy!!