A letter to the Tamil movie director

Dear Mr Director,

I, a regular viewer of your movies, have taken the liberty to kindly inform you that it’s about time for you to think out of the box.

Whether you like it or not, I have listed the what NOT to do list for your own goodness and mine.
•The comedy actress/vegetable seller/heroine’s friend’s/seductress/any other female character who has no direct input to the movie besides being present just to extend the length of your movie need NOT show cleavage, in purpose misplacing the saree munthani, deliberately exposing areas that need not, deliberate forward leaning etc etc.
•Please do not attempt to include dialogues with double meaning if it sounds bad even to you. It says alot about where you stand as a director in the hierarchy of movieland.
•Enough of the annoying hero/heroine introduction background music. It works only for Rajini. I am bias. So?
•Enough of blue tinted jokes that your college students characters make. They sound so bad so much so the real college students cringe in shame whenever your movies are mentioned. We might be naughty but never crude.
•Never ever include first night scenes in a devotional movie
•You may experiment with technicolours in any other movie, not in a devotional one. Definitely not by depicting a goddess in many variants of colour.
•Seductresses/sexy ladies are just that. They are what they are because of what they desire for. It has nothing to do with their clothes or rather the lack of it as shown in your movies. When they do dress up to bait, they do it with class. Not like what is shown in your movies.
•Men who ogle at forward bending ladies, skipping heroines etc etc are disgusting.
•Enough of: close shots of heroine’s chest, hips, butt, lips, back
•Close shots of body parts of heroines being grabbed by heroes do not turn us on. I repeat, it does not turn us on!

Oh, puhleeze! Don’t blame the stars from the northen region as being open to anything.

Let me tell you a small analogy.

A person with a toothache goes to the dentist. Now, tell me, oh wise one, if the dentist extracts the wrong tooth, can he or she blame the patient? The same logic applies here.

Aiyo, director saar, the patient is the heroine from north. While the dentist is you. I don’t care why they are open to all that nonsense that you dictate, but the fact it you dictate and they act!

So stop whining like a kiddo and take responsibility to what you have done. No matter how stupid it makes you feel and look. You should have thought of it before embarking on your project. Not after.

With kind regards,
A tamil movie fan

Ps: When is your next movie slated for release?


13 thoughts on “A letter to the Tamil movie director

  1. Compared to the circus that my work place is, the effects of my beloved tamils movies are nowhere! Let’s just say that it’s my antidote for sanity! 🙂

  2. I watch tamil films regularly and listen to tamil music whilst doing my share trading. My accountant just told me that my net worth to be £5.6m.So don’t listen to others. Keep doing what makes you happpy as long as it hurts no one.

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