I expected something to take place. The signs were all there. All said the same. That it will happen. In fact, I expected it to happen because of the signs and the progress of events. Frankly, I would not have expected or thought of it if not for these. If it had happened, I could have gone to the next level. This would have put some major speculations to a stop. Alas, that is not to be. It’s all back to square one.
Now, I am longing for it to have happened. This is a first. I am actually longing. And am longing for something that I would killed not to have it happen months, years before.
Now that I look back, I asked for this. I was hasty. It was actually a nothing which I made into a something. I am solely responsible for this. Insecurity? Complex? Longing? An unconscious plea for help? No, it was the work of an idle mind (made all the worst thanks to my super fertile mind).
Now that I have experienced the real thing, well, that’s a whole new story.
Update (06 June 2008):
PS: One doesn’t get the signs for the real deal.