The New Year

For years, the eve meant nothing but a sense of loss. Don’t ask me. I don’t know why. However, this feeling slowly went away. Perhaps it went away just as I overcame many things that were actually weighing me down. Perhaps, unconsciously those things did put additional burden during the eve. Again, I don’t know.

All I can tell is that I now know I am not what I was before. And I love myself for that. It was not easy. Determining your real friends from your long time friends. Time definitely does not measure one’s friendship. I mistakenly thought that a small group friends equalled time tested thick friendship. It was not so.

I thought I was angry at many people without realising that I was actually angry at myself. For not standing up for myself and at times for my loved ones. How could I when the the society dictates the ‘elders’ are always right and are to be obeyed at all times? Thank goodness, I realised in time that the said society comprise nothing but the hypocritical ‘elders’ themselves. So, I showed my finger to the so called society and started to dictate my own life.

So much for a supposedly introspective post, hah!

Happy New Year, everyone!

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Delima

Oh yes, one more thing. I’m sort of in a delima. You know, the kind that come to people who are simply too free AND think way TOO MUCH. Yup, like me.

Well, I was in a relationship. A bad relationship with a not so good guy. You see that’s the problem. I cannot bring myself to call him names, not anymore. Heck, I was simply too hurt even to think about calling him my ex at one point. To be honest, I don’t want to mention him if not for the delima of mine. It was long way back. And there are no feelings involved. None whatsoever. What made me think about this thing, well I was trying to get the name of this song and ended up remembering the scene where the heroine was questioned by her husband on her reluctance to confess that she did have a boyfriend before she got married. Yes, the song is from the same movie but till today, I cannot recall the song. And the scene got me thinking to this.

Now, I’m not bothered by the so called problem in the marriage thing because it has nothing to do with the marriage and most importantly nothing to do with the husband. AND it has no impact on me anymore. The thing is, the relationship was a real bad one and that person was a very bad person who was the cause of many bad things to happen.

In short, the whole thing and person is so insignificant to me that I find it pointless even to talk about it to anybody. But some think otherwise.

So what should I do?

Horoscope Alert

You’re getting help from a mysterious source that might never become clear to you. Don’t worry about it too much — there’s no point. If your benefactor wants to make themselves known to you, it will happen.

I don’t know who the mysterious source is nor the reason I need help.
Watch out for updates, if any of course! 🙂