My heart stopped for a second

when the anaesthetist said a respirator will take over your breathing throughout the procedure. Yup, he said you won’t be breathing. A machine would for you.

And I died in the operating theater when you lost consciousness. It happened within seconds after you were hooked on the anaesthetics. That is not something for a mother to witness.

I will not be able to forget the sight. The way your head tilted back on the table. You looking serene and my heart wrenching. Both at the same time.

All I said to the anaesthetist was, ‘take care of my son, doctor.’ And that he did.
With tears streaming down my eyes, I was escorted out to the waiting area.

I don’t want the both of us to go through this. Ever.

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