Pretty? You?

When I was growing up, from tween to till early twenties even, I didn’t think I was ‘pretty’. Of course I had my share of admirers and suitors. 😛 To say I was aware of myself being pretty. No. Was I concerned about how pretty I was? No.

However, I was made to feel that I was, not pretty. My hair was too curly, too dry, too thick, too long, the fringe funny, split ends much too many, my nose was flaired, I had pimples (which I used to get one or two small ones before I get my period), I was short, I walk funny, I was too thin, I was not that fair (such comments were made in passing when another ‘fair’ one was talked about, I had a long face, I had a plump face, my teeth were big, I had a big tummy and err, I was flat. You get the gist, don’t you?

All these and more when I was not aware that I was…pretty. Mostly, it was my own friends. Mind you, my own good friends.

I was a timid, shy kid with not so much of a self confidence. So to assume I brought such comments upon myself…nah. A time came when I simply cut loose these friends of mine. I had started working by then and made a new group of friends who were, simply like me. The ones who don’t care if your shoes matches your Prada. The ones, who, would jump at any opportunity to hunt for a good joint to eat. No one to pass comments about my looks as we all were having too much fun being ourselves and being together. We still do.

Les, the friends whom I deliberately cut off many years ago, slowly but steadly crept back into my life. They have grown. *nodding head with a knowing smile*

A segment on Oprah is the catalyst for this post. Oprah asked Linda Evans how it felt to beautiful. To which Linda answered, ‘I never felt I was beautiful.’ That did not trigger this post. Oprah’s reaction did. She rolled her eyes.

So what is the moral of the story?
A girl will not know how ‘pretty’ she is until she has come to a certain age or maturity. She discovers her ‘pretty’ self when she gains confidence. Pretty/beauty does not refer to appearance. It comes back to what is within her.

My Grandma

My grandma was born in 1931 in then Malaya. Her mom passed away when she was a very little girl, a year after the birth of her younger brother. She was bearly 3 years old.

My grandma was cared by her grandma. Wanting her grandaugher to learn English, she sent my grandma away to her son’s place where there was a convent school. She herself was Tamizh educated. That progressive was my great great grandma. I have seen a black & white photo of my great grandma (my grandma’s mom) wearing a dress, pearl jewelry (I think), complete with a handbag and a nice pair of shoes. A photo taken in the studio. No pottu, malliga poo whatsover. A very modern & confident lady, she looked like. My great grandmom could have easily been in her teens, the time of the photo taken around 1920s.

Coming back to my great great grandma. She was an influential lady, I was told. She had her own pannai (cattle farm), paddy fields, owned lands and even had her own business.

My grandma is 79 this year. She could speak fluent English and was a long serving government servant. My grandad is another progressive man . He ensured my grandma continued working even though they had to care for six children. My grandma had a maid-this in the late 50s.

Why did I say my grandad was progressive? That’s because he asked my mom to work in order to pass time and equip herself with knowledge. My mom was a very timid person and she has had never worked. Moreso, what came as a surprise was that my granddad suggested this after my mom had my sister. He told her not to worry about her two kids. As he had retired, he can care for his grand daughters. Isn’t he a great father in law? 😀

My grandma was very VERY modern. She too wore dresses and had custom made shoes.  Till she had her first three boys, she had not worn pottu nor had she, sarees. She watches CNN, BBC and the likes. A very bold lady, she gives two hoots to certain perjudiced customs. She educated all of her children, boys and girls.

The thing about my grandma is, no man or woman can get away easily from her if they remotely say anyhing perjudiced against womenfolk.

I wrote this after IHM asked what was the state of women in your family say 70 years ago?

Consider yourself tagged if you are reading this. Don’t forget to post the link in the original post by IHM.

It was definitely a good family holiday

It is also the one where I came back home tireless. The lil N had great fun in the pool (his first) and was exposed to the beach (first one too).

I guess I had fun because my baby was immensely enjoying himself. It was a sight to behold-seeing your baby son experiencing the wading pool and refusing to come out of it despite his wrinkled fingers and toes.

Here’s where we stayed.

We thought we were experiencing Tsunami due to the storm on the second night of our stay. To make matters worst, the sliding glass doors were shaking and glasses were heard shattering a distance away. Cars were heard. It was scary as what are all those people doing removing their cars at 12 midnight? Got out of the bed, only to see people from the neighbouring block evacuating their apartments. This block has sea view and is very close to the beach. Ours was the garden view. What the?

My tummy was having butterflies by this time. The hubby called the reception-they were unaware on what was happening. Hubby decided to go down to the reception area to check things for himself. I was even more afraid for his safety. What if it was Tsunami and he is down there on the ground floor. This is no time to be panicky.

He went down and came up very fast *thankfully*. Basically, the other block was badly affected by the storm as it was directly facing the sea. The wind was so strong that a sliding door shattered and some others could not be closed due to the strong force. Rain water was entering the apartments, thus some families. The saving grace (for us) was that, we were on the fourth floor. Even if there was Tsunami, we would be relatively save. That did not stop me from thinking whether we should climb the cupboard or the kitchen cabinet, in case of anything.

Oh yes, I also partially packed N’s food stuff while waiting for hubby to return from the reception. Further more, it is better be paranoid and prepared at all times. 😀

AND being a pisces, paranoia comes naturally to me. So, 😛

Edited to add:

A non Indian boy swam in the beach to retrieve one of my slippers which was unexpectedly swept away by a wave. His family asked him to. Don’t ask me their race. This is the Malaysia I know of, not the bigot country painted by others.