Appraisal for Amma

Pre Assessment Outcome: Did not achieve target

Well, it’s a week long school break. The boys are with my parents.

I slept well. Got up refreshed. Not tired. Had a full 8 hours sleep. No additional house work or getting them ready for school in the morning. No rushing back in the evening to cook. I catered food and we ate out. We went for long drives. We went for massage. We had for desserts late at night. I even slept after midnight, the latest around 1am.

All fine, you may say. But there is this void. This HUGE void. I miss my babies. I want my tiredness back, just to have to little munchkins snuggle next to me.  I don’t care if the lil one pees on the bed every single night. It’s ok, I will wake up and change him into clean pyjamas and tuck him back to sleep. It is ok for the elder one to annoy his lil brother while I yell like a maniac from the kitchen asking him to stop bothering his brother.

And then, the guilt crept in. I shouldn’t shout at them. I shouldn’t cane them. I am mean. Wicked. I am not spending enough time with them. I am not cooking healthy nutritious food for them. I am not taking them to the park often. I lock myself in the bedroom…with my books. Maybe I should leave work early. Maybe this…maybe that…*sigh*

The list was endless.

Then I realized that I am going through the same phase like all the other moms. Just like in all those articles.

If I go on like this, I will drive myself mad. I am a working mom. And I have my limitations. The limitations could be stemming from me as a person or from external sources.

I could try to make my limitations bearable, where I could. I can only do so much. I am not going to beat myself to death for that.

The end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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PS4

So, the PS4 was ordered on Monday, delivered on Friday, unboxed and fixed on Saturday and on full use on Sunday.

The son, N, has been consistently receiving good marks with vast improvement from one semester to the other. Came year two final semester and he was the top 5 in his class with almost straight As except for Math. He got a B+ by missing a point for A.

The father promised him either Nintendo or PS4 if he gets straight As. Seeing that he almost made it, the father relented and agreed to get him any one of the game console as he wished. As much as I did not agree, the father managed to convince me saying N deserved it for the effort he put in to get the As. Which I agree.

The boy did put it so much of effort which I am not capable of pulling off as an eight year old or as a thirty eight year old.

So with that, we got him a PS4 last week, albeit, delayed by 5 weeks. The delay deserves another post of its own, by the way.

 

 

Baby Shower

Which turned out to be a traditional valaikapu instead. Of course, I had to wear a shocking red, body hugging top paired up with tied jeans. I was the only odd ball present among the ladies. I found solace with the men. May be it was the age thing (or confidence (??), I did not feel awkward one bit nor did I feel out place not did I explain myself to anybody.

Heck, I even participated in the blessings ceremony of the mother to be.

How is that!

 

1st term school break

The week long 1st term school break is here. The boys have been sent to my parents’ place. They will be there till Friday.

The weekend has been jam packed. Throw in a hospital visit for both me and hubby, it was just great. Actually, it was not that bad, just painful!

I was suffering from a swollen wrist and pain due to the treatment by the orthopedic. The jab should give relief from the sharp jolt on my right wrist which I have been suffering since December 2015.

The treatment caused me so much of pain where the swelling and pain was up to my elbow. I couldn’t use my right hand for anything. Luckily, the pain and swelling subsided by 80%. I was only on painkillers as I am allergic to all other meds for this condition.

For nearly three week, I barely cooked at home as surprisingly MIL completely took over the kitchen. There was food on the table almost every evening. Not to mention I was away for 10 days.

We did major grocery shopping on Sunday to fill up the stock. I realise the cost of grocery went up by 10% to 15% easily. Cleaned up some fresh food in preparation.

After this break, the in laws will no longer come in the mornings to our place. Both the boys will head to their place after school. Hubby will fetch them in the evening after work.

It almost will be a win-win situation as the in laws will be in their own comfort zone and would eliminate the travelling to my place.

I will devise a scedule of sorts for the boys to keep themselves occupied after school. It will help the in laws tremendously in managing them both.

I should start reading too, pronto.

 

 

And so I will be redeeming my house soon…

Long story short, right after the first term school break, both the boys will be sent to my in laws place after school. Currently, the in laws come in the morning and stay put till evening. They leave once I am back from work.

Both boys leave for school in the morning. The earliest to come home is D, at 12.30pm. N on the hand, reaches home at 1.30pm the latest. Basically, the in laws need spend only half a day till I come back from work.

Let’s just say everything is not rosy as it seems. The house looks like a warzone every single night I come back home. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the sticky floor. And I am moderately OCD.

Regardless of the time I reach home, I clean the kitchen, tidy the house, sweep the floor and mop the living room & kitchen floor. Every night. Since last December. I reach home late, even at 9.30pm sometimes, ever since I came back from my 10 days long business trip. I have not cooked a single day since then. Work has been crazy.

My MIL can be untidy in the kitchen while she is cooking.. That said, she keeps her house well. Since this is my house…oh well, let’s not get into that.

So anyways, since they are technically free from the boys till half day, we felt it is only fair for them to rest and do whatever they want in the comfort of their own home.

Not before the husband audits the house, that is.

The arrangement is almost similar to what we had before except that the boys will head to school from our home now that both has started schooling. The respective transporters to send them to in laws place as opposed to our home. Hubby will pick them up after work from his parents’ place.

I will head home after work. Will either cook or buy dinner and be ready to welcome them back home daily just like before. At least, the time I spend on cleaning the house everyday can be used to spend with my children.

Date with N

For the longest time, N has been asking me to take him out. Not a family outing. Just himself and I. Strictly no thambi, in that. LOL.

Not to mention (again for the longest time) wanted to watch a Tamil movie in the cinema. As D wanted to visit his grandparents and hubby wanted to do some reading for his coming exams, I decided to drive D to my parents place.

After which, N & I shot off to the nearest mall. As luck would have it, there were few Indian movies playing. We bought tickets to Rajini Murugan.

It was a nice fun movie. There’s something about the heroine. Such a pleasant face to look at!!

The cinema was almost 90% unoccupied. Seeing the other two patrons who came in after us changed seats, we did too. We took one of the couple seat which was higher up and without the arm rest! It wasn’t easy for me to move seats. I did it anyway. LOL!

Rajini-Murugan-Movie-Stills-5.jpgAfter the movie, N wanted to play in the kids’ area. Spent sometime there before looking out for some toys. We didn’t get any so N changed route to eat McD. I had my favorite Prosperity burger and he, happy meal.

After a while, we left the place to fetch D from my parents’ and drove back home.

Daily Routine

Morning
5 am Wake Up
Wash all three water bottles for home consumption. Boil water to fill up the jugs and water flask. Prepare breakfast for the boys. Place the breakfast & water bottles in the bag. Tidy up the kitchen. Bring down the diaper and change of clothes for noon usage for the boys. Dry clothes (not a daily chore).

6.15 am Wake up N & get him ready
6.35 am Get D ready
6.50 am Send off N and prepare milk for D
7.00 am I get ready and tidy the room.
7.20 am D & I leave home

6.00 pm
I bathe and head off to the kitchen. Cook or heat up food. Tidy the kitchen.

8.00 pm
After dinner, sweep the house and wipe the living room tables. Mop the living room and kitchen floors. Wash bathrooms (not a daily chore). Boil water to fill up the jugs. Check boys’ bags. Ready N’s homework for tomorrow. Fold clothes (not a daily chore).

9.30 pm Snooze time for the boys