Appraisal for Amma

Pre Assessment Outcome: Did not achieve target

Well, it’s a week long school break. The boys are with my parents.

I slept well. Got up refreshed. Not tired. Had a full 8 hours sleep. No additional house work or getting them ready for school in the morning. No rushing back in the evening to cook. I catered food and we ate out. We went for long drives. We went for massage. We had for desserts late at night. I even slept after midnight, the latest around 1am.

All fine, you may say. But there is this void. This HUGE void. I miss my babies. I want my tiredness back, just to have to little munchkins snuggle next to me.  I don’t care if the lil one pees on the bed every single night. It’s ok, I will wake up and change him into clean pyjamas and tuck him back to sleep. It is ok for the elder one to annoy his lil brother while I yell like a maniac from the kitchen asking him to stop bothering his brother.

And then, the guilt crept in. I shouldn’t shout at them. I shouldn’t cane them. I am mean. Wicked. I am not spending enough time with them. I am not cooking healthy nutritious food for them. I am not taking them to the park often. I lock myself in the bedroom…with my books. Maybe I should leave work early. Maybe this…maybe that…*sigh*

The list was endless.

Then I realized that I am going through the same phase like all the other moms. Just like in all those articles.

If I go on like this, I will drive myself mad. I am a working mom. And I have my limitations. The limitations could be stemming from me as a person or from external sources.

I could try to make my limitations bearable, where I could. I can only do so much. I am not going to beat myself to death for that.

The end.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I need to loosen up

Seriously. Everything at home seems to annoy me when I am unable to get it perfect or complete it within the mental timetable I have set for myself. I am tiring myself out thinking about cooking, cleaning, laundry, ironing, grocery shopping etc.

And I get irritated when my kids bother me when I am in the midst of doing the chores. I can’t let myself drop what I am doing without feeling irritated.

Everything has a solution. So does this.

I need to do something about this.

 

I am in such a bad mood!

Not at work but at home. No surprises there. I am zen at work or even at social places. This has been going on since Sunday. Today is the third day. I hate it when people disrupt my schedule (read: husband) And I hate it when people try to schedule my timing for me (read: in laws). And I hate it when I am pressured to do stuff which could be done later. No I am not lazing. Just that, the matter is not urgent to warrant immediate action. Important yes, but not urgent (read: husband)

Ok, so now I know why I am annoyed. Thanks blog. It feels good to vent.

 

The wonderful MIL…not

My husband turned 40 just a week before his grandma passed on. I had a surprise birthday party planned for him. Due to the unexpected passing of his grandma, I thought why not have the surprise element in another event which is slated for the coming month. Especially when the invitees are pretty much the same group of people.

The event was my SIL’s wedding reception among close relatives and friends. I whatsapped my SIL and shared with her my thoughts. She was cool with the idea and told me to proceed. Just to double confirm, I told her she is under no obligation to agree and that we could always have another celebration. She dismissed me and asked me to proceed.

I went about looking for a baker and got into ordering the cake. The D-day came. Giving some lame excuses and ensuring my husband doesn’t find out about the cake and the celebration in tow, off I went to collect the cake and to pass it to my in laws as the reception/cake cutting was to be held there.

I passed the cake to my MIL and told her that this is my husband’s cake. And do not disclose to him as we are having a surprise cake cutting later during the reception. I left their house feeling proud that I managed to pull it off and it is going to be such a huge surprise for my husband as he would not have seen it coming.

Within 10 minutes of reaching my house, my MIL calls me. Apparently, this reception is about my SIL and it would not be nice to cut a birthday cake. Furthermore, it is a small cake and would not be enough for everyone.

A 3 kg will not be enough. And everyone needs to have a slice of it, apparently. I told her that this was discussed much earlier with her daughter and I proceeded with this whole plan only after her consent.

In less than 5 minutes, my SIL sends me a whatsapp, almost parroting the mother and says we could cut the cake towards the end with only close family members.

Me being me, said no thanks to the ‘offer’.

We had a mini celebration at home with just the four us the next day.

All ended well. Not a piece of the 3 kg cake was sent to my MIL.

 

 

Super Singer Junior Season 5

The former super singers who were judges for Top 40 & 30 were bias with some of contestants. The way they promoted some kids to the Top 40 & top 30 were astonishing. The deserving ones were deprived of their 6th star just to accommodate some younger ones who are in the show to showcase their cuteness. *eyes rolling*

Having seen the former super singers performing before, most of them do not even have half of the charisma and talent of the children they placed on waiting list. It’s really shameful to see such full blown bias.

This was pretty much prevalent when we have the unbiased SPB family giving frank comments and eliminating those chosen by the former super singers.

And yes Shubaji, thanks for giving a chance for a boy marked for elimination another chance while depriving other children their rightful place to the top 25. That too after his atrocious singing.

Deepak_Super Singer Junior 5

This boy is one of a kind singer cum performer. Yet, the douchebag judges refused to give the boy the sixth star he very much deserved to be in the top 30.

Do you how disappointed the boy was when he was deliberately refused his sixth star. That too, after seeing all the idiot judges fully enjoying and giving him high five for his performance. What kind of maniacs would do that?

What was more annoying was the illogical excuses given by two male judges.

Thanks to Gopinath and team, the boy is now one of the top 30 singers in the show. Priya Darshini went one step higher and said that the wild card round can’t do anything to him, ie, will not stop him.

And what I do find out today, this boy was in the top 15 of another reality show. He wouldn’t be there if he wasn’t talented, you idiot judges!

The irony is, the so called judges themselves are half baked singers…what more performers.

Shame on you!

I just hope the overzealousness of these select few judges would not dampen the boy’s spirit. And, please judges, I beg you, just be fair to this boy.

—rant over—

Deepak, I am vouching for you. 🙂

Car…

I scratched my car on the left side as I was coming out of the parking lot. Boohoohoo

It set me back by RM500!!
A loud bang followed by scratches!!

I got the car back from the workshop last evening.